Q- I am college drop out and am struggling with strange experiences since childhood. My mother has schizophrenia and was always in her own world and my grandmother looked after me and her. I do not remember being hugged or cuddled by either of them and have seen my grandmother working consistently, complaining and worrying. Often, I was the target of her outburst. In school, I never had friends and would feel comfortable being with myself. I feel something is missing and do not know how to sort myself out. Once, in Grade 7 I was referred to a counsellor, but I felt odd and did not talk to her- ST

Dear ST, It takes a lot of courage to share your story and having the clarity that there is something amiss and you need help. I really appreciate your first step. A childhood bereft of emotional bonding and loving care, is indeed lonely and hard. However, your ability to connect your present distress to your experiences and being aware of it, highlights the possibility of better times to come. Emotional Neglect is a parent’s or caregiver’s failure to act.

It’s a failure to notice, attend to, or respond appropriately to a child’s feelings. In your case, your mother’s illness did not let her feel and express her natural maternal instincts and it appears that your grandmother was overwhelmed with responsibilities and stress of being the only support to two dependents. Emotional neglect is generally unrecognized by the child until symptoms begin to appear in adulthood, as happened with you. The ideal response for you would be to seek one on one psychotherapy. Although, it was difficult for you to share with your counsellor earlier in school, but with present realization of something amiss; it would become easier to share and get support.

However, till you take the appointment and begin with identifying your feelings and needs. Try to label the exact feeling and list your strengths. Plan and work out the connection of your strengths with your goals or needs. Take one small step at a time and spend time doing constructive activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, a sport, a hobby, or volunteering at a place that interests you. Remember, your feelings matter! All these activities would provide opportunities to meet new people with similar interests. Make sure to have regular short and sweet conversations with people, gradually it would get easier and longer.

The more you focus on constructive, healthy ways of self-care, you would soon begin to experience the feelings. Try sharing your grandmother’s work load and help her in domestic chores, sharing domestic expenses through your income (if none, take a part time job) and your mother’s care.

Q -I am a mother of a nine months old baby. My husband’s job keeps him out of town for days and sometimes the whole week. Since my son’s birth; I have been unable to sleep due to his disturbed sleep at night. He has started to sleep for most of the night for past 3 to 4 months but somehow my sleep is lost! I am unable to have a sound sleep since then. It takes me hours of tossing and turning before I fall asleep and often the fear of my son waking up to disturb my sleep weighs heavy on my mind. When I get up in the morning on my son’s cry or movement; it is a struggle. In fact, the entire day I feel tired; until again the night when I am unable to sleep. I am scared to take sleeping pills, as the doctor has prescribed. -AT

Dear AT, It appears that you are stressed out due to single-handedly raising your infant. The good part is that he is grown out of the stage of inconsistent or short sleep patterns and now has a regular time of sleep and waking up. Please try to match your baby’s sleep time with yours. The prescription could be discussed with the doctor by raising your concerns of side effects or other aspects. Along with that, you can try psychotherapy and discuss the reasons for stress, the fears you have regarding your son’s night time waking, etc. Meanwhile, try a few of the following tips; such as spending the last hour before bed doing a calming activity such as reading, listening to meditative music, avoiding electronics, doing some physical exercise during the day.

DISCLAIMER: The answers given in this column are not to be taken as a professional psychotherapy service. It is completely educational in nature. Please note that each individual’s situation is different and one must consult a therapist for psychotherapy service or advice.

Rima Sehgal PhD
Registered Psychotherapist
rima.sehgal@fulbrightmail.org

London (IANS): Eating a special mixture of dietary fibres found in barley can help reduce appetite and blood sugar levels, finds a new study.

According to researchers, barley can also rapidly improve people’s health by reducing risk for cardiovascular disease.

“It is surprising yet promising that choosing the right blend of dietary fibres can — in a short period of time — generate such remarkable health benefits,” said Anne Nilsson from Lund University in Sweden.

The study was conducted with healthy middle-aged participants who were asked to eat bread largely made out of barley kernels (up to 85 percent) for three days — at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Approximately 11-14 hours after their final meal of the day, participants were examined for risk indicators of diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

The researchers found that the participants’ metabolism improved for up to 14 hours, with additional benefits such as decreases in blood sugar and insulin levels, increases in insulin sensitivity and improved appetite control.

The effects arise when the special mixture of dietary fibres in barley kernel reaches the gut, stimulating the increase of good bacteria and the release of important hormones, the researchers said.

“After eating the bread made out of barley kernel, we saw an increase in gut hormones that regulate metabolism and appetite, and an increase in a hormone that helps reduce chronic low-grade inflammation, among the participants. In time this could help prevent the occurrence of both cardiovascular disease and diabetes,” said Anne Nilsson.

The ambition is also to get more people to use barley in meals, for example in salads, soups, stews, or as an alternative to rice or potatoes.

New York (IANS): Eating a walnut-rich diet can be effective in losing weight and improving cholesterol level, finds a new study.

The research also showed that a diet containing walnuts, which are primarily comprised of polyunsaturated fats, positively impacts heart health markers.

“One of the surprising findings of this study was that even though walnuts are higher in fat and calories, the walnut-rich diet was associated with the same degree of weight loss as a lower fat diet,” said lead researcher Cheryl Rock of the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine in the US.

“Considering the results of this study, as well as previous walnut research on heart health and weight, there’s something to be said for eating a handful of walnuts a day,” Rock said.

The study was published in the Journal of the American Heart Association.

The research team studied 245 overweight and obese women from 22-72 years old enrolled in a one-year behavioural weight loss intervention.

Participants were randomly assigned to three different diets: a lower fat and higher carbohydrate diet, a lower carbohydrate and higher fat diet and, a walnut-rich, higher fat and lower carbohydrate diet.

Those prescribed a walnut-rich diet consumed 1.5 ounces (42.52 gram) per day.

The walnut-rich diet participants saw comparable weight loss to the other study groups; however, they exhibited the most improvement in lipid levels, especially in those who are insulin-resistant.

Looking at data from the first six months of the intervention, this study found that the average weight loss was nearly eight percent of initial weight for all groups.

In addition to a significant decrease in LDL (bad) cholesterol, the walnut participants achieved a greater increase in HDL (good) cholesterol as compared to the other diet groups.

A walnut-rich, higher fat diet showed comparable weight loss to a lower fat, higher carbohydrate diet among overweight and obese women, the study found.