Reasons for failed NRI marriages

In a world of materialism where every success is measured in terms of what financial accomplishment one has made, it is not difficult for NRIs to seek a bride or bridegroom in India.

In bygone era, a marriage was considered a sacred union. It was to strengthen a spiritual bond. It was a commitment.

Fast forward to contemporary age, marriage, to many, is reduced to a mere engagement of opportunities.

Both bride and bridegroom families prefer outward qualifications like a good job, abundant wealth as good criteria for marriage. This applies more to those who are living abroad, i.e. NRIs.

And in the process of blindly pursuing outward glitter, parents in general fail to probe into the dynamic side of personalities.

Innumerable instances indicate that a marriage fails when ambitions contradict aspirations and when realism counters illusion.

In one of the cases pertaining to an affluent NRI family settled in Saudi Arabia, the daughter’s marriage failed to work even before honeymoon days could be over.

It so happened that a doctor, who had settled in Saudi Arabia, sought to choose a bridegroom for his from Bihar, the place where he too came from.

After a lot of effort, a suitable boy was seen eligible in all respects. Soon the marriage was performed. But a crack was noticed within days of couple’s union over the issue of future settlement of bride in Bihar.

The bridegroom’s side insisted to remain rooted to his land with his job and social connections behind while bride, whose upbringing was in Saudi Arabia, rejected the idea, thus straining the relationship, and finally leading wedlock to divorce.

In another instance, an Indian man settled in Libya, advertised himself as the manager of a multinational company. His curriculum vitae was the topic of admiration for many families in India seeking a bridegroom abroad.

Soon proposals for marriage began to pour in. Finally, the would-be bridegroom concentrated on a possible applicant interested in him. The potential aspirant was a post graduate in Zoology.

In no time, telephonic interview followed and the next vacation was marriage. Incredibly, marriage was the first of its kind in the groom’s village in Bihar. By all possible angles, it really looked like the marriage of an NRI with all extravagance.

Once the bride travelled to Libya, she was all shocked to witness the truth on the ground. To her disbelief, she found her husband to be only a diploma holder in computer.

And then the rest of facts began to emerge about the husband: That he was not a manager as was propagated, that financially he was not even in a position to accommodate his family in Libya, and so on.

The bride was completely devastated. Often, she was noticed fighting over petty issues and cursing her husband for such a life of meanness. Now she felt like being in a prison.

Similar instances of failed marriages abound in our daily newspapers concerning NRIs. Often parents overlook the genuine quality in a bride or bridegroom for possible successful union.

Most of them are carried away by the charm of dollars that NRIs are normally associated with. Materialism obscures the vision of seeking excellence of character in a person for marriage. Both parties are equally to be blamed as they undervalue the quality of fineness, virtuousness and humbleness in a character of person for marriage.

It is time we change the way we consent to an NRI proposal for marriage or the failed marriages will continue to ruin lives of individuals.

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